"Life Changes"
I checked out this blog a few weeks ago and realized that I'm approaching the one-year anniversary since my last post. That's really pathetic. Since last fall, I've undergone several "life changes," as I've heard other people call them. The phrase strikes me as pointless because the core things that make us who we are aren't essentially going to be changed by our circumstances--even when those circumstantial changes are dramatic.

Since my last post, I've gotten engaged, gotten married, moved to a new place (3 times), and changed jobs. Sounds like a lot of life changes. However, I only wish it were that easy to change our lives. For the past several days, I've been dealing with feelings of guilt, the sort that have cropped up from time to time in my life, over my general outlook on life--lack of motivation and purpose--or over some of the things I do, things that probably everyone struggles with from time to time but things that I should no better than doing...they're just not ethically or morally right. The fears that grasp me sometimes even today are not unlike the fears that grasped me when I was single, in school, or living in an old, tried-and-true apartment. Challenges are the same for me. Vision is just as important. And discipline is still essential. And I find myself struggling with all of the above. Fortunately, I am still surrounded by those who encourage me. I still receive satisfaction after a job well done. And I still have a God who loves me despite everything I've mentioned. It's odd how "life changes" don't really change your life all that much.

I'm going to try posting more. And it won't usually be this heavy.