Weighty Matters
It's January, which means that everyone in America is on a diet. According to a recent video on CNN, that's especially true for the children of a certain school district in Anytown, USA. The said school district--I can't recall the location, but it can most likely be located through seismograph activity during recess--has begun including a BMI rating on its students' health screening records. This means that along with providing the traditional screenings, such as the one for scoliosis, that schools have performed for some time, they are now sending home a weight notice for parents: "Your kid is fat." Of course, all the parents that were interviewed for the video were in an outrage...because their kids are "fat."

The parents of the skinny children did not seem to be upset about the decision and stood silently in the background as the parents of the fat children wondered aloud how such a label could be assigned to their young ones. One fourth grader was interviewed while struggling to hoist himself into his mother's Hummer. "I'm excited about my report card and health screening because my parents buy me one Big Mac for every A," announced the hefty hellian, while biting into a Twinkie.

I'm always amused at the way we decide to go on diets after New Year's but that we make this decision sometime around the end of November when we're about to endure a Thanksgiving feeding. I can't figure out if we're genuinely discouraged about our holiday habits and are trying to recover or if we are simply delaying the inevitable so we can justify gorging ourselves for a month and a half. Either way, the scenario plays out like an extended version of Mardi Gras (sans the beads), where you allow yourself a period of debauchery because you know you'll have to repent soon enough during Lent anyway.

With all the "weighty" matters that are being discussed, I like the approach that has been taken by the company I work for. A few weeks ago, we were all supplied with a free pedometer. For me, the thing has become more of an experiment than a health apparatus. The e-mail that we received accompanying the gift informed us that "you will be surprised at how many steps you actually walk in one day." After using the pedometer for a couple weeks, I can say that I am surprised. I am surprised at how few steps I take. According to my pedometer reading, you would think that I was actually rolling to the bathroom during breaks rather than walking because I take fewer steps each day than a Civil War veteran. Don't be surprised if you see me being interviewed one day on national news because of my fat kid.